Andrew Goulding Articles

My Favorite Cover Version Of: Bacharach & David's This Guys In Love With You

2012-01-26T18:05:00.000-08:00

As a pop music fan, I'm sure that many of you may agree that there are depressingly diminishing returns in the search for the new Great Pop Song. Folks just ain't writin' stuff like they used to. Oh, I could easily launch into my two-drinks party piece about why that is so but now is not the time. Instead, I'd like to introduce you to Canadian forty-something, Michael Thorner, who's been regularly putting his original compositions and covers up on Youtube for the last couple of years.

Checking my FAVORITES, I see that I've bookmarked four of his originals (all near-classics in my eyes) and six of his covers, of which - by the slimmest margin - my favorite is this astonishing cover of Bacharach & David's This Guys In Love With You.

While Aussie band The Reel's cover version (apparently given the thumbs up by Hal David as the definitive interpretation) arguably improves the original, it's still derivative. However, Thorner, on the other hand, has taken this wonderful, schmaltzy classic and mostly through syncopation, reinvigorated it with such skill and passion that he seems to truly makes the song his own. His version aches with an embarrasing puppy-dog optimism and the hilarious / dramatic moments of 2.56 - 3.23 are - for me - some of Youtube's greatest moments.

Michael Thorner: This Guys In Love With You

Michael is proudly gay and while not overtly so - within his own compositions - he nevertheless positions the male straight listener (i.e. me) in an unaccustomed space. I get around it by imagining that a female singer is delivering the lines (and may well do so if my new band Mojo Business - I purchased the dotcom the other day - ever gets off the ground), such as in the superb It Better Not Rain, a definite hit song in my niche, at least.

Thorner's Youtube channel is well worth catching, honestly, check it out, there are gems a-plenty!

Mantler: I've Been Destroyed

2012-01-19T15:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you stumble upon a piece of Art that defies description - Mantler's I've Been Destroyed is one such piece.

Is it a song?

Is it a funereal cry?

I'm not really sure but it is powerful, especially if you have ever been through dark times. I consider I've Been Destroyed to be Naive Art at its most riveting.

Mantler: I've Been Destroyed

Mantler is a.k.a. Canadian, Chris Cummings, one of their most respected Indie pop artists. I LIKED him on FB, in case you're interested.

Talking Robot

2012-01-07T14:48:00.003-08:00

I love this speaking robot - it reminds me of a cross between Star Wars' Senator Palpatine and my ex-wife.

Spalding Gray: The Perfect Moment

2011-11-12T01:22:00.001-08:00

I'm presently re-reading the late Spalding Gray's magnificent Swimming To Cambodia, one of the few books that can be read in two or three page bursts without losing anything. This video is from Jonathan Demme's film of Gray's performance piece, both also called Swimming To Cambodia.

I'll set the scene for you:

40 year old man-child Spalding has just spent a few months acting in the movie The Killing Fields and is about to finish and return home to the USA.

He wants to do a bit of travelling, at least until he has a "perfect moment" but his biological-clock-ticking girlfriend, Renee wants him to grow up, return home and marry her.

Spalding Gray: excerpt from Swimming To Cambodia

"...I don't know why but this guy shaped my perception of what funny is..." youtuber smackbunny

Silvio Berlusconi - Italian Romeo

2011-10-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

Silvio Berlusconi:

Italian P.M.
billionaire businessman (presently believed to be worth $9 billion) &
president of Italian soccer giant AC Milan

...shows that despite the sexual scandals that have plagued him for years, he's still just a horny little guy. I don't know whether to applaud or be appalled.

Silvio Berlusconi & the lady traffic cop

Unfortunately there's no date on the video, so I 'm not sure whether this was while he was in office.

Fingers Break Dancing

2011-10-19T23:14:00.000-07:00

For those who are fans of So You Think You Can Dance, here's some breakdancing that will blow your mind. These fingers have obviously trained for years and they're are hot, rockin' and a-poppin'!

Fingers Break Dancing

Yeah but can them fingers waltz?

Will America vote for them?

Will hostess Cat Deeley cuddle them?

Walking On (Cornstarch And) Water

2011-10-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

Ellen De Generes discovers how you can walk on a paste of cornstarch and water. Ellen unfortunately refuses to even try it because of her bad back but a guest on the show does so successfully in a mini-vat of 2500 lbs of the cornstarch paste.

Fun!

Walking On (Cornstarch And) Water

I actually caught this cornstarch trick on Mythbusters a few months ago but I'm not sure which show appeared first.

Anyway, who cares?

I just wish I could do it!

Fashion Porn: Victoria Secret 2008

2011-10-04T04:03:00.000-07:00

Back around 2000, I worked in a TV News video facility for a year. I'd have to record news feeds from all over the world, sometimes hours of raw footage. I noticed over a few months that when the fashion show news feeds came in (usually about half an hour of unedited footage) that I eventually started looking at the clothes, instead of the girls.

I'm glad to say that I have now fully recovered and didn't see any clothes in this Victoria Secret 2008 video.

Fashion Porn: Victoria Secret 2008

Unrepentant?

Certainly.

Is it porn?

Absolutely, very, very broadly speaking - notice the numerous crotch shots. Ah well, as the old song said, C'est La Vie!

A Potentially Terrifying Viking Song

2011-09-13T13:50:00.000-07:00

When I discovered The Viking Song, I had to share! Consider my predicament:

You see, I'm not seeing The Viking Song music video as it is. No, I'm seeing a big budget music video with tons of CGI effects:

seeing a fleet of long ships in the distance approaching the shore
hearing the Viking horn
cutting to the straining backs of the Vikings rowing, psyching themselves into battle
I'm hearing the thunderous battle drums
then brutal Heavy Metal guitars
then the villagers running in panic, feet, screaming faces etc.
then bloody carnage as the Vikings plunder the Saxons and attractive wenches a-plenty get ravaged by seven foot he-men in silly hats

Banjofish: The Viking Song

Or...

Is it just the worst song I've ever heard and the puniest music video I've ever seen!

Hmmmm. See you in Valhalla.

Do Gingers Have Souls?

2011-09-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

Seriously, do Gingers have souls?

How could they, they have red hair?

Anyway, youtube member Coppercab has a different point of view.

Do Gingers Have Souls?

In a recent poll, 40% of people thought that Ginger had souls (admittedly, there were only two votes, so how the poll achieved 40% is mathematically interesting), so, obviously, the community feels strongly about this issue.

I suggest heading over to Uncyclopedia, the source of all that is true in the Universe, to find out why Gingers are so dangerous, besides having no souls.

Attention: Wannabe Jack Kerouac Fans

2011-04-08T00:47:00.000-07:00

Wannabe Jack Kerouac fans, get out your bongos and groove along as Phillipa Fallon tells it like it is, in the 1958 B-grade teen movie High School Confidential.

I Feel Like Sayin' A Beatnik Poem: from the 1958 teen B-movie
High School Confidential

Phillipa Fallon's only other known acting role was in The Private Lives Of Adam And Eve, 1961, so I can't tell you much about her, dig?

"...I had an uncle that we kept in the attic who had a third eye, tomorrow is a drag man, a king sized drag!..." youtuber ZIPPTPH77

"...Totally amazing.....and now, 50 years later, most still fits, all too well..." youtuber HarmonyDreams

"...Man, I dig those crazy little pop-rockets in her sweater...crazy man, just crazy..." youtuber puntekidd

"...I wanna go back to the fifties so I can pull out my ipod and blow everyones' mind..." youtuber abilectic

Bizarre Painter

2011-03-29T16:17:00.000-07:00

Jeepers, I don't know where I dig these up from but this video is something to be believed. It features Lisa Wong at the 60th annual Narcissus pageant.

Lisa Wong: Action Painter

For those who don't know, the oriental gentleman that Lisa painted was martial arts expert, Bruce Lee.

Newt Gingrich To Run For President In 2012

2011-03-12T00:03:00.000-08:00

For those who are unaware, U.S. conservative Newt Gingrich seems to be getting ready to male an early run for the Republican 2012 presidential race.

Gingrich has a somewhat laughable moral past and New York Times columnist, Gail Collins - rapidly becoming my favorite, globally - lets the Gingrich hypocrite have it with two very witty smoking barrels for trying to defend his actions in the past.

"Anyone with a functioning moral compass must despair for the sick theater our political process has become. Is there any action so shameful or any hypocrisy so blatant that it would disqualify someone from running for public office?

After all, these are the people who will be making laws to punish the rest of us for doing far less heinous things than they have done...

...These hypocrites always seem to find God just when it’s politically convenient to do so, and claim that He has embraced them. Personally, I wouldn’t embrace Gingrich if I were wearing a hazmat suit and a respirator [but] it’s us humans who will have to vote for him and live with the embarrassing consequences, not some deity who is clearly undiscriminating about the company He keeps..."

New York Times reader Gemli

As I recall, the current Gingrich wife was - as the former romantic paramour - singing in the church choir in between their romps doin' the Wild Thing.

But then they both 'got religion' after dumping sick wife #2, got a Catholic Church annulment of all former "marriages" so they could be "good church folks" and now all is "forgiven" - the ‘family values’ folks sorta trigger the gag reflex with their professed sanctimony.

So Newt has now given up skirt-chasing for instead policing every uterus in the United States for any hint of promiscuous sex, contraception or potential abortion. 'Guess he can't afford to let anyone else be as "patriotic" as himself???

Oy vey! — a new low in political and moral spin.

New York Times reader Aileen 171

Quick, Call National Geographic!

2011-03-02T23:43:00.000-08:00

Over the last few months, I've been befriended by a water dragon - well, it could be several but they all look the same to me - and I've taken to feeding him / her / them soft fruit. So far, that's been nectarines, peaches, grapes and bananas.

Australian Water Dragon

Well, to my surprise, Wikipedia claims that the water dragons "tend to feed on small insects such as ants, spiders, crickets, and caterpillars. when they get bigger so does the prey which can include small rodents such as baby mice".

Quick, call National Geogaphic, I've got a trendy vegan water dragon as a friend!

David Bowie 1970 - Just Another Long-Haired Lout

2011-02-21T00:41:00.000-08:00

Here's a curio for you, Davis Bowie, winning the Ivor Novello (Britain's Songwriter Award) Special Merit Award For Originality in 1970 for his 1969 hit, Space Oddity.

N.B.: I presume that the band was off-stage.

OMG he looks so Woodstock LOL
Youtube member divakaneva

Badman flares!
Youtube member cookiemonstaman1

Gee, I sure hope the kid makes it.
Youtube member bluestucco

Use Google To Order Ethnic Food In A Foreign Language

2011-02-18T20:51:00.000-08:00

As part of the Google Slam series, two (what seem like) college girlies created this excellent video, ordering Indian take-out in Hindi with Google's help.

Use Google To Order Ethnic Food In A Foreign Language

Incidentally, both girls work really well with the camera and the whole video is a wonderful vertite treat. I hope that they enjoyed the meal!

One of America's Founding Fathers Speaks

2011-02-17T23:17:00.000-08:00

I'm not often prone to quoting America's Founding Fathers but I quite took to this quote:

"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection.

'Tis the business of little minds to shrink but he whose heart is firm and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."

Thomas Paine

I consider it excellent moral advice for one's personal life and a wordy suicide note for corporate employment.

Hmmm.

Sean Connery's James Bond Parody: Chimp Style

2011-02-05T18:09:00.000-08:00

If you're an oldie and consider the only "real" James Bond to be Sean Connery, then you may enjoy this very silly parody of 007's Sixties films, with a ridiculous dialog between, ahem, 009 and Q.

Sean Connery's James Bond: Chimp Style

This is a short film parody directed by Tom Stern (Freaked, The Idiot Box) that was originally shown as TBS' Monkey-ed Movies during the commercial breaks for movies.

More On Sarah Palin

2011-02-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

As some of you are aware, I'm immensely interested in the Web 2.0 commentaries that follow many posts & news stories, often finding them more interesting - or, at least, amusing - than the original posts.

Today, Time Magazine ponders what Sarah Palin will have to say about the present crisis in Egypt in a speech that she is due to give today to the Young America Foundation.

Ho hum but the comments are a laugh:

"Oh, yes, I'm going to be absolutely spell-bound, hanging on her every word of wisdom in this matter.

On the other hand, given that my back is killing me, I may just find some appropriate snack food and lie down on the couch, passing gas whenever a pause in her delivery allows me to express my heartfelt opinion of her take on foreign relations..."

Afguy

"What will Palin say?

I'm not sure but it ought to be a good bet that whatever comes from her mouth tonight on the issue of Egypt will be utterly devoid of facts and comically off on basic history."

Matt

"I have been gone too long. I miss deep thoughts of Snowflake Snooki [ a.k.a "Bible Spice" and "Caribou Barbie"] on the Egypt crisis being brought up for debate.

.
This is real heavy stuff here. Next, can we get a thread going on about what Justin Bieber thinks of the IMF's role in creating systemic debt in developing nations through it's embrace of austerity budgets?"

trifecta55

Sarah Palin Meets Thomas Jefferson

2011-02-02T17:58:00.000-08:00

I love this mean video, in which an even dumber than normal Sarah Palin meets Thomas Jefferson and the results are not quite what she would have hoped for.

Is it accurate?

No but that's satire.

Is it fair?

As Sarah Palin would say, "You betcha!"

Sex Doll Sugar Daddy

2011-01-24T11:33:00.000-08:00

It's 6.20 in the morning - I've been up for an hour reading the online editions of quality newspapers like The New York Times but nothing has taken my fancy like English tabloid's The Sun, which reports today on Canadian father of 2, David Hockey, 57, who takes his six nubile sex dolls on holidays with him around the to the UK and now, to the USA.

"I think the dolls are pretty - any man is lying if he says they aren't."

Well, that's made my day!

The Arizona Shootings: What The NRA Have To Say

2011-01-14T16:05:00.000-08:00

The New York Times reported today on What The NRA Have To Say about the Arizona Shootings - which is, presently, not much.

My favorite quote from the article is by a Mr. Erich Pratt, the director of communications for Gun Owners Of America, who said:

“These politicians need to remember that these rights aren’t given to us by them. They come from God. They are God-given rights. They can’t be infringed or limited in any way. What are they going to do: limit it two or three rounds?

Having lots of ammunition is critical, especially if the police are not around and you need to be able to defend yourself against mobs.”

Mobs?

Er...what has God got to do with a misrepresentation of (is it) the Second Amendment?

Jesus frickin' Christ and these people think they're the world's police!

The Arizona Shootings: Three More Reader Responses

2011-01-12T13:01:00.000-08:00

One of the highlights of the reading week for me is the pleasant banter in the New York Times between political moderates, David Brooks (Right) and Gail Collins (Left). Here, they gave their take on The Arizona Shootings with Does Moderation Work? and I've selected threee more reader responses for your perusal.

N.B.: These comments aren't actually about moderation in Politics but they are interesting points in the Arizona shootings debate:

"Two truths:

It is true that we will never completely outlaw guns in this country.

And it is true that recreation and self protection with firearms do not require owning a gun that can shoot 30 bullets without reloading.

Can we finally get the moderate solution and ban assault weapons?

David, are to advocate, moderately or even passionately, for that?"

"Why it is that when Islamic terrorists commit acts of violence, the explanation is always sought in their socio-cultural and religious environment?

But, when acts of violence like the one in Arizona happen, we are always reluctant to look for socio-cultural explanations and instead look for individual motivations.

Already, the mainstream view has emerged that this was a singular, one-off, lone act by a mentally-disturbed individual. It's almost as if people are afraid to find out whether this might be linked to something larger in our culture. It's more comforting to know that the perpetrator was just a crazy person."

"One thing that's missing from the entire debate is any admission of responsibility. Other than Loughner's parents, I have not seen a single person accept any blame. It's actually a healthy thing to examine your actions, see if you might have contributed to a bad thing that has happened and then apologize. It clears the air and makes others feel better and makes you look more mature.

Would it kill Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin to do so?"

The Arizona Shootings: Two Reader Responses

2011-01-10T13:43:00.000-08:00

Two readers comments in response to Dr. Paul Krugman's article on the Arizona Shootings in the New York Times.

"The recent shootings raise two issues for an observer from across the Pond:

the foolishness of a gun-culture which allows an apparently mentally unstable young man easy access to a semi-automatic weapon &
a political culture that encourages bigots to share their hatred and contempt for anyone they disagree with.

A sensible and mature society puts limits on both, by legal restraint and through a political discourse that does not tolerate the manipulation of the most basic instincts of hatred and violence.

Sheltering behind a constitution drawn up in an different world to the one we now inhabit in order to defend the indefensible, seems bizarre and infantile. We Europeans sometime despair about the future direction of your society."

Jakedog

England

*****

"When I was a teenager, back in the '80s, we used to blow things up.

Nothing major, of course but someone had access to black powder explosive and we'd make powerful fireworks with it. Probably not even illegal in that western state at that time (maybe not even now). One guy, let's call him Jeff, was oddly enthusiastic about this, and wanted to make the charges bigger and bigger.

We also feuded with local Latino kids who rode around in lowriders but nothing truly violent or outside of the ordinary tension between groups of teenagers. There was, however, a lot of big talk and it got pretty hateful. Again, I think this was an adolescent thing with some adolescent thrill about saying awful and extreme things and ratcheting each other up - even though this was about kids we'd actually grown up with and played with when we were younger. Deep down at the time, and for sure later in life, we felt shocked at ourselves.

Jeff, however, didn't seem to have the same fundamental inner restraint, at least at the time. He started into joking about blowing up a lowrider, and we began to realize that he was actually kind of serious about it - his plan might actually have gotten someone hurt. I still remember there being a long silence when he'd suggested something kind of extreme, and one of us (not me, alas) said "those are human beings you're talking about". It's what everyone was thinking.

It was like a fever had broken after that. We all sort of realized what had been going on and though we didn't talk about it the whole thing dropped - even for Jeff. We started doing other things for fun and some of us eventually were able to at least hang out with some of the kids we'd been antagonizing.

I like to think that our little community was kind of like the cadmium rods in the nuclear reactor, keeping it from running away. I'll never know if, absent that, anyone would have come to actual harm. But, I worry, in this era of free-floating right wing hatred and social atomization, does that sort of restraint exist? The rhetoric of the Becks, Palins, and Limbaughs of today remind me a lot of that ratcheting and transgressive adolescent talk.

[New York Times columnist] Krugman is right, of course, that the right wing has created a truly toxic nexus, and it's unmoored from any real counteracting force. I imagine Jeff with a radio, instead of a bunch of adolescent who, while jerks, are still human. And I feel fear."

Martin

Portland, Oregon

Trippy, Cheap Scientific Experiment

2010-12-29T15:17:00.000-08:00

Why don't Educational Authorities make teaching Science more interesting?

They need to get kids doing experiments like this one using milk, food coloring & detergent to bring some fun into what is often a too-dry subject.

Trippy, Cheap Scientific Experiment

And it's cheaper than acid!

Anonymous Confessions: Group Hug.US

2010-12-28T22:39:00.000-08:00

I discovered a new "anonymous confessions" site today, called Group Hug.US. I've collected highlights from the first 25 pages for your delectation.

Other than a little bit of proofreading, these are presented as they were posted but I should warn you, some of them are of an ADULT nature.

I’m not interested in others, but I hate loneliness.

I’ve been told I give the best head. I don’t brag or flaunt, but I know its true.

So I’m sitting on the computer debating if I want to spend $5 to buy some pregnancy tests on Amazon or spend those same $5 on one of my favorite bands CD since it’s on special.

I love having priorities.

I really love it when my boyfriend goes down on me. The sounds he makes, how aggressive he is when he does it, how good it feels.. I yell the stupidest things.

“Suck my pussy, bitch!!”

x_x

He gives oral better than lesbians. I just wish I didn’t say anything so stupid

I’m scared to do doggy style with my boyfriend because I don’t want him to see the tiny amount of hair in my ass crack. I told him it’s just because it hurts.

I think I’ve posted about this before but it’s such a shame how I can’t talk openly about how much I love to poop. Men are allowed to talk about disgusting things but tiny, blond, proper sorority girls can’t talk about how great a giant poop feels.

I never wanted to be one of those girls, but every time I see your ex-girlfriends, I check them out and try to figure out what you liked about them to see how I can thus improve myself.

Damn. We’re not even together.

Yet.

Yesterday as I was standing in line in a store, in my head, I was plotting ways to kill myself. Then I stopped. Because some random girl told me she liked my shirt, and it made my day.

I grew up having ridiculously low self esteem. Now I am 18 and quite a bit more self-assured. I go to the gym three times a week and spend more time making myself presentable just so I can look at myself in the mirror and feel satisfied.

There are even a few photos of me on Facebook that I stare at for long periods of time when I sign on. I can’t get used to looking at myself and thinking that I’m pretty, and it feels nice but now I’m terrified I’m becoming self-absorbed and vain. I am heavily considering going back to the way I was.

Sometimes I wish you weren’t so short
or so lame
and did cooler things than just play video games - like had a skill or something
but you don’t
or that you weren’t so boring
that you would like to go to punk shows with me
or to the beach at night
but you don’t - and i love you anyway.

Other guys talk to me all the time and say i should leave you
guys that are taller
who do cool things
who go to punk shows
and who like to go to the beach at night
and sometimes
for a second, I want to be with them instead
but I can’t - you’re too good to me

Maybe I’m the one who needs to change.

It hurts me deeply when you yell at me.

Why am I with you, again?

Oh, right, you’re rich - I’m nothing without you.

Having sex with my boyfriend is unsatisfying and I don’t know how to tell him.

Self-Control: 1 -v- Explosive Temper: 0

Go me!

I feel so alone. I’m so hurt and I have no one to share it with - no-one that notices.

Someone else is making you smile.

Every time I’m with you I wait for you to whisper to me “I love you" - it’s been almost 2 years of us together, I’m still waiting.

I love the fact that every time you start seeing a new girl you end up having a dirty dream about ME.

My boyfriend was laid off a week ago and now he’s super depressed. He hasn’t showered in a week and it’s becoming problematic.

How on Earth can I tell him he needs to shower without further destroying his ego?

And I just stood there in the shower and cried.

Dear Tragic Mistake,

You gave me a Red Christmas.

When I looked down I saw blood all over my dick and my underwear. So much so that it looked like a bloody massacre - I had to check to make sure my penis was attached.

Thanks for the bloody hand job afterwards.

I am nothing.
I am useless.
I am nobody.
I am shit.
I am hated.
I am stupid.
I am bad.
I am empty.
I am dead.
I am done.

I ruined my boyfriends shirt and didn’t tell him, because it looked cute on him and I didn’t want any other girls to see him in it.

If I died tomorrow I would be happy because I am finally living.

I love you but you are not mine.

Everything that has defined me to this point is about to be lost.

This Xmas I did 2 things that I am not very proud of:

1. I got stinking drunk Xmas eve and threw up in my boyfriend’s new car.

2. I had sex with my ex while my bf was out drinking with his buddies.

OMG, I am so white trash!

My Favorite-Ever Viagra Spam

2010-12-13T14:10:00.001-08:00

I received this piece of Viagra SPAM today:

Big penis: like a girl!

And with there being, coincidentally, 69 SPAM messages in my SPAM box, it has made my day!

How Dinosaurs Became Extinct

2010-12-11T21:39:00.000-08:00

Hmmm!

This reasonably brief animation video purports to show how dinosaurs became extinct - although I'm not entirely convinced that its based upon verifiable scientific data.

How Dinosaurs Became Extinct

The Lone Groover: Way Down In The Hole

2010-12-01T20:03:00.000-08:00

Way back in the 1970s, Britain's pop rag, The New Musical Express was mandatory reading for me and one of its big draw cards was The Lone Groover - a rock star beyond all rock stars with a talking (rat?) for a (pre-KISS) codpiece, if I remember correctly.

Anyway, it seems that 30+ years later, The Lone Groover is making music again. He's released a version of the old Tom Waits number, Way Down In The Hole - and all I can say is, say your prayers:

The Lone Groover: Way Down In The Hole

Amen.

Understanding Chakras

2010-11-28T13:27:00.000-08:00

With what may be my most unpopular Squidoo writing ever, I recently published:

Understanding Chakras

which should upset just about everybody! It is the basis for two other pieces of work, which I shall provide links to in the next few days.

'Makes me laugh, though!

I Wish I'd Written That: Groovin' - The Young Rascals

2010-11-27T15:44:00.001-08:00

"Groovin'" - The Young Rascals - romantic perfection. Yes, I wish I'd written that. Oh, I so, so, so wish I'd written that!

Groovin' - The Young Rascals

"I was 17 in '67, when this record was released - a hot summer it was and this record summed up all that was great then.

Glad I was there!"
Youtube member schuller51

@schuller51 "How was it back in the 60's?"
Youtube member theofficialtwinz

@theofficialtwinz "Hi guys, nice of you to take an interest, so much to tell, really.

It probably is the same for a 17year old now, I guess?...
...only then I'd say there was a lot more optimism with Life....
...Great music and great bands...It was so new and fresh then - never heard or done before. Now everything is just a re-hash of old ways, nothing is special now."

EPITAPH:

"We Were Different ."
Youtube member schuller51

"What a way to spend a summer's Sunday afternoon. A cold beer in [my] hand, a good book in the othe, on a deck chair in the garden, without a care in the world..."
Youtube member 7272257

"I just want to float on a cloud listening to this song."
Youtube member lindseythurs

"Oh, those were the best days! Graduating high school and getting ready for college...wondering which road life would take me down...old age so very far away.

Oh...to relive those days one more time!"
Youtube member saunders49

The Sufi Whirling Dervishes Of Istanbul

2010-11-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

OK, Islam has - somewhat understandably - a really bad name at the moment but I present these whirling dervishes to you and ask you to make of it what you will.

Although the soundtrack isn't the original sound but has been added later, I find that the marriage of the two, from 1.50 is astounding.

The Sufi Whirling Dervishes of Istanbul

"When I saw how at peace and in the moment the were as they whirled it literally brought tears to my eyes to know someone could find such a level of happiness."

Youtube member Utubepirate

"The one in the pure white and the one in red I find particularly hypnotic."

Youtube member Existantia

"I don't know why but I'm completely drawn to this - it's so simple yet so elegant. It's so cool."

Youtube member bthor76

Cloaca, The Pooh Machine

2010-11-21T14:38:00.000-08:00

There's no doubt that Belgian conceptual artist Wim Delvoye is a weirdo. He's got an obsession, yes indeedy...and it's pretty obvious what it is. Young Wim's into pooh, bottoms...the whole toilet thing. That's er...cool, I think.

Anyway, the eccentric chap has built CLOACA, (see Wikipedia, original meaning) a machine that converts food...into pooh...and it's, well, caused quite a stink:

Cloaca, the pooh machine

Coming Soon: Robot Girlfriends

2010-11-17T12:44:00.000-08:00

Ah, thanks to England's tabloid, The Sun, my day has been made. How can a virile man not become joyous when he reads:

"THEIR [what the capitals are for, I'm not quite sure] ultimate partner would be flexible, obedient...and made of rubber. In the secretive world of robot fetishists, the ideal woman - or man - has a fixed stare, movable limbs and definitely won't ever dump you." My Girlfriend Is A Robot

Yes, it seems that like Christmas, robot girlfriends - who are looking scarily like women with plastic surgery fetishes - are coming to town.

However, more interesting to me are the comments by The Sun's readers:

"Finally - a woman who won't turn me down for a date. Though with my track record, I wouldn't be surprised if [she] told me 'Sorry but I have a date with a laptop that day.'" The Sun reader Arsemania

"Just think no nagging. Bliss. LOL" The Sun reader Ragbone

"Anybody fancy a pre-owned one from eBay" The Sun reader Benfica4eva

"Will they wash the dishes?" The Sun reader simko

"Make sure you have a hard drive instead of a floppy disc." The Sun reader Lornawanstall

"Sounds remarkably like my ex, only without the PMT and vicious temper." The Sun reader Jonte

She's Too Fat For Me

2010-11-13T02:10:00.000-08:00

Everything is wrong about this video - and that's why I love it!

What we've got here is a polka, an unimpressive old-time band, an offensive song in today's world, some really shoddy camera work, old-timers struttin' their stuff and awesome comments.

Wonderful.

She's Too Fat For Me

"Hell - I'm too fat for me!" Youtube member deepgreenmoss

"Damn, old people got some moves!" Youtube member Igarc657

"I'm going to send this video to my ex - she's fat." Youtube member stefandurr

"This song is despicable yet funny at the same time." Youtube member LegacyOfOdio

"That tuba player is HOT." Youtube member TuftsMansion

"Originally done in 1947 by Arthur Godfrey." Youtube member eurotomm

So That's Erika Eleniak

2010-11-11T13:10:00.000-08:00

Perusing England's Daily Mail - it specializes in "We're under threat" & "Stars gone to seed" stories, I chanced upon this story about Erika Eleniak, who I'd never heard of.

She was a star of Baywatch - I'd never actually seen an episode - so of course I jumped on Youtube and yee-haa- Erika certainly got that late '80s - early '90s thing going there!

Watch for the great pan shot - TV wouldn't get away with that, now!

Erika Eleniak

Now, that's a pan! The video's comments also provided me with much mirth, at times, expanding my vocabulary!

"This is what we should have sent on the Voyager spacecraft." Youtube member adsense1

"Erika definitely gives me a Napoleon." Youtube member DancingSpiderman

"Erika Eleniak...so perfect and really cool. Met her when I was like 15, in '91 or '92 - she gave me a hug. My brother in law thought I was gonna pass out. I told her I loved her and asked her to marry me...

...Fucking puberty.

Ha-ha." Youtube member focusracer30

"Nice Pouch." Youtube member sixkillerable

"I'm now so hard you could hang a hat on it." Youtube member slavemale2

Is This The Definitive Version Of Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds?

2010-11-08T03:49:00.000-08:00

Sgt. Peppers - arguably the greatest rock album of all time.

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - arguably the best psychedelic song of all time.

Could the classic track be bettered?

I shall leave the decision-making to you but if the acid amateur-dramatics interpretation of the song by Star Trek's William Shatner don't do it for ya, then surely this pop-art made-at-home music video will. It's simply superb!

William Shatner: Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

Love it, love it, love it!

Looking Back At Charlie's Angels

2010-10-29T01:10:00.000-07:00

As part of my games on Squidoo, I purchased a Charlie's Angels lens fir the 1970s TV show and revamped it to include the more recent movies - I loved the first one!.

Don't ask me why I do these things as I have no defense!

Charlie's Angels

Twitter Success Stories

2010-10-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

As part of my ongoing research into Social Media, I published:

Twitter Success Stories

yesterday on Squidoo. It looks at how businesses - from small to corporate - are presently using Twitter. It's a damn fine read, if I say so, myself.

Tweet It: Social Media Parody Of Michael Jackson's Beat It

2010-10-21T17:14:00.000-07:00

Well, somewhere from within the Collective mind that is the zeitgeist, someone had to come up with this:

A street-turf battle between the dedicated fans of Ipads and those of Iphones. Apple geeks, have fun - the rest of us, well, we'll just have to Tweet It.

Tweet It: Social Media Parody Of Michael Jackson's Beat It

The video is from U.S. comedy outfit, Pantless Knights and I shall now have to investigate their work more, as you might imagine.

Fat Black Guy

2010-10-21T00:18:00.000-07:00

While I seldom comment on the world of paintings, I couldn't help but be moved by Fat Black Guy (1995), in which a morbidly obese black man is chased down a roller coaster by a murderous Ronald McDonald train, whose partners in crime are Kentucky Fried Chicken, hot dogs and government sponsored lotteries.

Fat Black Guy by Tim Slowinski

To his left is the skeleton of a small animal and to his right, a sign pointing towards the hospital. Will he need that direction or will the train just take him down?

At the time, it was an allegory for the plight of the black American but how different is it to that of the everyman today?

Kate Bush: The Sensual World - A Weird Discussion

2010-10-17T02:30:00.000-07:00

Oooh!

The Sensual World got a bit too much for this lily-livered blogger while commenting on Kate Bush's marvelous 1989 music video for the title track off her album, The Sensual World.

Kate Bush: The Sensual World

So, there I was, innocently reading the "comments", when I stumbled upon this:

mrchris010160: Catherine Bush, you are the personification of what a woman should be, you really are and I should know, for I am a fifty one year old man and I have been under your witchy spell since I was eighteen and it will never stop, not now, not ever.

If I don't meet you in this sensual world, then I will meet you in the next one and please don't be late, don't be late.

Of course, I couldn't resist the opportunity to reply:

ADG: Sorry Chris, there's a queue!

To which smitten Chris replied:

mrchris010160: I specialize in queue jumping.

I replied:

ADG: I can't help it, when she does the loony wobbly dance at 1.55, I crack up - in a good way - and then her backwards strut at 2.20 is magnificent! As a whole, the music video echoes the red dress Wuthering Heights clip but says so much more - I love it!

But Chris would have nothing of normality.

mrchris010160: They say that men cannot multi-task, I have to wholeheartedly disagree, for I can make love to my long-suffering wife and think of Kate Bush, both at the same time.

Admittedly, the line wasn't original but I did laugh. I replied:

ADG: Chris, this must be what Kate was referring to. You have truly entered into the sensual world.

Chris replied:

mrchris010160: All of my days are trances and all of my nightly dreams are where Kate's dark eye glances [at me?] and where her footsteps gleam.....

.....By what ethereal dances?

By what eternal streams?

Uh-oh time for me to bail - this is getting weird! Chris is still going, though:

mrchris010160: My dearest Catherine....you are the essential sensual witch and furthermore, you are sensuously exquisite.

'Made my day, it did.

A Coledale Visitor: The Baby Shark

2010-10-13T01:58:00.000-07:00

I published the final part of my Coledale series the other day:

A Coledale Visitor: The Baby Shark

and I'd have to say that I'm pretty happy with the series. I hope you've enjoyed it.

Aerobic Exercise With Poodle Girl & Poodles

2010-10-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

Those crazy Japanese have been at it again!

"This is...a word-for-word parody of Susan Powter's first workout video, featuring poodles and a crazy poodle-woman. Absolutely surreal. It was made by Nagi Noda for Panasonic, part of 10 films they made for the 2004 Athens Olympics."

youtube member vinylboy20

Aerobic Exercise With Poodle Girl & Poodles

"I have never seen anything so distrubing in my life WTF" Youtube member mudvaynestool

"I did this workout and I look like her now" Youtube member hellhamster80c

"I think the most normal thing in this video is the poodles." Youtube member krazzykid101

Bizarre Thai Health Video

2010-10-03T05:32:00.000-07:00

The story starts with South Korean internet sensations, The Wonder Girls, who released the thoroughly respectable, disposable pop song Nobody in 2008 (the video IS worth catching, if only for the preamble's singer's Michael Jackson-like moves).

Then, as part of the Swine Flu freak-out of last year, it seems that Thai authorities must have released a version of the song with new health-conscious Chinglish (or is that Thinglish?) lyrics.

And so to this video - passed on buy my very amusing Squidoo friend, Guy Bellefonte - in which 5 Thai male students (trainee lady-boys, it would seem) got together to create a dance routine for the health version.

Bizarre Thai Health Video

Nice!

Thanks, Guy, and yes, I did wash my hands.

A Coledale Visitor: Anneke Conquers The World

2010-10-01T23:01:00.000-07:00

I've just published the fifth in my autobiographical series about Coledale:

A Coledale Visitor: Anneke Conquers The World

about an interesting Dutch lady.

Struttin' That Ass!

2010-09-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

You may remember that a while ago, I presented Antoine Dodson & The Bed Intruder Song. Well, here's a similar song (discovered via Rootade Designs), this time with the outrage coming from a white, probably Republican, possibly-drunk, Southern gent.

In the original footage, this fellow seems irrationally angered because, besides the interviewer and trendies in general (this must date from 2000 or so), then-U.S. president Bill Clinton seems to have been reported by the media to be doing exercise and didn't have to burn his calories like ordinary, working folk.

"New Hope is a town in between Hunstville and Guntersville and the "Arsenal" he is referring to is Redstone Arsenal" Youtube member caymanisland boy91

"This man is America personified." Youtube member abola2121

"In Soviet Russia, ass struts you!" Youtube member wolloolloo

The modern retelling of this story is:

Struttin' That Ass!

Oh, there's simmering rage, the seeds of the nihilistic Tea Party, the story of a generation of "other" Americans, so much implied by this video - I love it.

"It's awesome!!!! Downloaded it on iTunes now Im struttin that ass !!!!" Youtube member SYMHD200

"For now on I'll dance just like him " Youtube member helenajesstarzak

"I laughed, I danced, I peed my pants!" Youtube member OMommyGodess

Women And Beer Advertising

2010-09-28T22:54:00.000-07:00

As some of my readers may know, I'm quite a fan of beer advertising - big budget, great editing etc. as well as the occasional cute girl etc.

See: My Favorite Beer Ads 1 - 5 & 6 - 10

Still, Erin Gibson, from U.S. satirical current affairs show, Infomania, makes a fair point that perhaps the role of women in beer commercials may have changed over the last 20 years or so.

Women And Beer Advertising

Making out with a dog?

I need another beer!

The Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit

2010-09-26T03:31:00.000-07:00

The Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit - now every girl can be a pole dancer. This video is a great 1960s send-up ad for a genuine product from the UK. Mind you, the pole doesn't look like it could hold her, never mind the average plus-sizer!

"The narrator sound like the creepiest f**k ever" Youtube member garka

"The announcer sounds like Dr. Evil!" Youtube member akas1255

"Anyone else notice that pole bucking and deforming as she was swinging around on it?" Youtube member BudgetBachelorChow

The Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit

My highlights include:

0.35 "Er-r-r-r-ecting your pole"

1.17 "Parents - not so good."

2.05 "That's cheeky!"

2.18 "Woop-a-daisy!"

2.43 "Girl not included!"

Nice!

The follow-up is that some considered the Peekaboo Pole Dancing kit to have been marketed as a toy, which outraged Britain's mum's and dads. The Daily Mail, my favorite paper for the outraged, reported that "Dr Adrian Rogers, of family campaigning group Family Focus said yesterday that the kit would destroy children's lives...Children are being encouraged to dance round a pole which is interpreted in the adult world as a phallic symbol."

Uh-oh!

The Coledale Coast Walk, NSW, Australia: The Birdlife

2010-09-24T14:34:00.000-07:00

I've published the fourth biographical installment of my Coledale series at Qondio:

The Coledale Coast Walk, NSW, Australia: The Birdlife

It contains lots of pretty pictures and links to several bird videos, too. Check it out!

Remembering Liam Lynch's United States Of Whatever

2010-09-23T05:42:00.000-07:00

It seems that its mostly only folks from the U.K. and Australia who would have any memory of Liam Lynch's United States Of Whatever.

It's a post-modern/comic/post-punk/grunge-type thing that some people might class as a song. Whatever it is, it's damn fine and if you've never caught it, you should!

Liam Lynch: United States Of Whatever

By the way, Mr. Lynch is an interesting character and his link is worth following, including the nugget that he was in the first batch of students at Paul McCartney's Liverpool Institute For Performing Arts.

Whatever!

And The Answer Is?

2010-09-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

I found this video while researching "Youtube Stars".

And The Answer Is?

And the answer is?

N.B.: The original, What What, In The Butt was a pretty boring gay sub-funk workout, which was boosted enormously in popularity when South Park used it for a segment.

Up & Over It: Irish Hand Dancing - We No Speak Americano

2010-09-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

So you thought the whole Riverdance thing was over! Well, you ain't seen nuthin' yet!

You'll probably see this on the news tonight but in case you don't, be warned - Irish Hand Dancing is here:

Up & Over It: Irish Hand Dancing - We No Speak Americano

The We No Speak Americano routine was performed and choreographed by Suzanne Cleary & Peter Harding, who perform as Up And Over It.

Stop Press: CHEAP VIAGRA!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-18T19:20:00.000-07:00

Until the opportunity *arose*, I hadn't realized how *hard* it has been to write a *post* that sent *up* the CHEAP VIAGRA!!!!!!!!!! SPAM that keeps *finding its way* into my mail *box*.

However, England's Sunday tabloid, The News Of The World provided me with the *opening* that I was looking for. It seems that Tesco - one of the UK's *biggest* supermarket chains - is about to start selling CHEAP VIAGRA!!!!!!!!!! Trust me, the article is genuinely interesting and contains some great puns.

Viagra Games

Mind you, Tesco should beware, I'm sure that other supermarket chains *won't take this lying down* and will offer some *stiff* opposition!!!!!!!!!!

"What size tablet will they sell?
The 100mg can be cut in half so you get more bang for your buck..so to speak!"

News Of The World reader Jack

"Blimey, over 50 quid for 8 pills?
...I suppose it's worth it to get old Perce winking at the ceiling - I hope the wife's sister appreciates it."

News Of The World reader John

What Do Women Like?

2010-09-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

I created a new Squidoo lens yesterday:

What Do Women Like?

It's a frivolous 3-part quiz on what women want in a man. The three very important questions that I'm asking are:

Should a man shave
Should a man be able to dance &
Should a man be a decent wage earner?

Riveting stuff, eh?

Actually, it's reasonably interesting - all part of my huge SEO experiment - and I may even add more questions in the future!

I've Just Found Out About The Three Wolf Moon Shirt!

2010-09-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

Much of my work these days is studying how the internet creates phenomena. However, I missed The Three Wolf Moon Shirt, as it was mainly confined to the USA.

Here's the guts of it:

Tacky t-shirt receives a witty comment by an Amazon reviewer, law student Brian Govern:

"Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women" but "cannot see wolves with arms crossed"*.

which is funny enough to start a (college?) sensation.

The Three Wolf Moon Shirt!

"I stopped wearing mine, I couldn't handle all the women flocking towards me." Youtube member nutsludge

"Behold - the power of the internet!" Youtube member boydegg

"That is freakin' epic." Youtube member PvtGermanWagz

* Brian Govern's full review:

"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women

Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark." Amazon

The BBC develops the three Moon wolf story considerably.

The Coledale Coast Walk, NSW, Australia: The Elements

2010-09-10T21:08:00.000-07:00

I've recently added the third installment to my autobiographical Coledale series:

The Coledale Coast Walk, NSW, Australia: The Elements

Check it out.

Incidentally, this series has been published on Qondio as part of a successful SEO experiment with both the first two installments already ranking well in Google within a few weeks:

Installment 1 The Coledale Caravan Park is # 1 for the "Coledale Caravan Park, Australia" search term, while

Installment 2 The Coledale Coast Walk, NSW, Australia: The People is # 2 for "Coledale Caravan Park, Australia" and # 20 for "Coledale, Australia"

How is that achieved?

Well, quite simply because Qondio's "members" comment on your post and that's your opportunity to "grow" the articles with all sorts of related search terms. Qondio is well worth getting into if you know what you're doing.

The Boston Typewriter Orchestra

2010-09-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

With the furious advance of the p.c. in the 1990s, typewriters have all but disappeared. However, a few enthusiasts are keeping those grand machines alive, finding a new use for them.

Steve Garfield reports:

I predict that a small number of young men will be heading towards thrift shops at this very moment.

Deal: Two Pizza Records For The Price Of One

2010-09-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

You can't say that I don't do my utmost to bring you the most important videos on the internet! What I have for you is two pizza world records from CBS's The Early Show, from June 2008.

The first segment features Denis Tran, who works for Dominos and has developed his skills by making pizzas for The White House. He makes 3 pizzas in 40 seconds.

The second act is punk rocker, Pat Bertoletti, who eats 17 slices of pizza in 5 minutes.

Amazing.

Deal: Two Pizza Records For The Price Of One

Re: the second half of the video:

"I want pizza!!!!!!" Youtube member pohnius

"LOL this dude can break into ur house while ur on the toilet, eat ur dinner and run away " Youtube member

"Stoners eat more!" Youtube member wacaking

Arguably The World's Best-ever Vox-pop

2010-09-07T04:40:00.000-07:00

First spied on Archie Archive, this vox-pop, recorded by WJLA channel 7 in Washington D.C., USA, I gather - is outrageous!

The journalist poses a pleasant, light question, hoping for a few seconds of Washington cheer for the wintery Weather segment in the news. The answer he gets - if it wasn't staged - is not quite what he was expecting.

Arguably The World's Best-ever Vox-pop

"I like this woman's style and I'm not talking about the faux-burberry!"
youtube member danmarkovina

"My favorite video of all time!"
youtube member xyzllii

"I love how she just walks away into the icy sunset! EPIC!"
youtube member shalesmaria34

Heavy Metal Monk Hangs Up His Leather Cassock

2010-09-06T04:59:00.000-07:00

Italy's Heavy Metal monk, Cesare Bonizzi, has decided to stop rocking, because fame has gone to his head - a tragedy for Italian pop music, I'm sure!

Heavy Metal Monk Hangs Up His Leather Cassock

"He gets his power from his beard" Youtube member eggnoggVILLAIN

"Why do people think monks have to f**k around in gardens and temples all day, like they have nothing else to do?" Youtube member stopglobalswarming

"Vote #1 for the next Pope." Youtube member surrealfrank

All Bow To The Mighty Mullet

2010-09-05T04:11:00.000-07:00

There's something about mullets that's beyond words.

Growing out of the Sixties in which there was a general explosion of excessive male hair growth, the mullet arguably made its first serious fashion appearance in the early Seventies. My first recollection of one is in 1973 with Paul McCartney in the Red Rose Speedway era but there may have been earlier ones.

Paul & Linda McCartney: Dueling Mullets

Receiving Band On The Run Gold Disc

Now, a good 35 years later, the mullet is still going strong, still - some might say - swimming against the current of fashion.

N.B.: This video has been provided by the wonderful, hair-mulleted folks at Rate My Mullet!

All Bow To The Mighty Mullet

"I am currently growing a mullet and I'm certain it's the best decision I'll ever make in my life."
youtube member Sorasen

"I'm growing a f***ing mullet - I want to travel in time."
youtube member JohnnyCagePro

"I've been MULLET-STRUCK!!!"
youtube member boomboomsniffsniff

"Don't diss people that have the guts to grow [one].

I have tried but don't have the power to see it through [because] as soon as it hits [my] shoulders, I get threats to me, my wife, phone calls, told that I am going to have an accident by complete strangers in the street.

Chem-trails are devastating mullet stocks - they are dying out. It's a mullet holocaust out there and nobody's doing a damn thing about it."

youtube member JacquesZupp

"Mullets will rise again!"
youtube member serpalrubio

Cast Your Vote In The Ultimate Coffee Battle

2010-09-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

I finished off another Squidoo lens last night - this one has been a few days in the making and it's my first DUEL:

The Ultimate Coffee Battle - Cappuccino -v- Latte

The idea is that you go there and have your say - it's just a piece of fun but it's got some nice pictures and a pretty interesting coffee quiz.

I've Been Up All Night, Again!

2010-09-02T17:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, I was up all night finishing off a new page on Squidoo. It's got some great pictures and I quite like it:

Buddhism: The Five Precepts

Fun, huh?

Flying Penguins?

2010-08-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that my ideas about penguins have shifted radically in the last few years. Yes, I used to think of them as short, waddling & cuddly, something to curl up next to on a chilly Antarctic evening but all that has changed.

My world was first rocked when I discovered that some of the are gay! [+ see: The Reverend Rod Robinson on The Gay Penguin Conspiracy]. Now, those penguin waddles appear a bit more mincing (put a handbag on one of their flippers and give him a pearl necklace and you'll see what I mean!) and all thought of cuddling up with them has...flown out the window!

Speaking of flying, then comes this startling video from the BBC - fronted by former Monty Python member, Terry Jones - that, can you believe it? - captures penguins flying!

Flying Penguins + The Making Of The Flying Penguins

Now I shall have to go to sleep tonight fearing that hordes of homosexual penguins may fly through my window and throw a debauched shindig in my bedroom - scary stuff, I think you'll agree!

Zzzzzz.

Gandalf Goes To The World Cup

2010-08-29T03:09:00.000-07:00

N.B.: This post has been relocated from another of my web "properties".

If you're a soccer fan of any kind, anywhere in the world, you're probably painfully aware that while the soccer was mostly crap, the real star of the 2010 World Cup in South African was the vuvuzela. It echoed around every ground like a swarm of angry bees, irrespective of the action at ear-damage levels.

In this wonderful parody video, Gandalf Goes To The 2010 World Cup, the vuvuzela invades Middle Earth and perhaps even the brave hobbits can't stand in its evil way.

Gandalf Goes To The World Cup

"I think I almost fell off my chair because I laughed so hard."
Youtube member RedPaperBlossom

"It's so funny how everyone hates vuvuzelas."
Youtube member duuvix

"What's next, The Return Of The Two Vuvuzelas?"
Youtube member ksvg1989

Weird Contests: # 1 - The Thai Screaming Contest

2010-08-27T21:41:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to only bringing you news that's fit to remember, I proudly present the Thai Screaming Contest. I wish there was something I could say about it other than:

"A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!!!!!!!!"

Weird Contests: # 1 - The Thai Screaming Contest

Future Shock: The Horny Dumb Burglars

2010-08-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

As regular readers are well aware, I'm always on the lookout for important news and today's Horny Dumb Burglars story from the Sydney Daily Telegraph is no exception.

However, the really exciting Future Shock is that soon, such pieces of news - in which no real-life footage exists - will be created by animation.(N.B. I'm the only person in the world who has DIGG-ed this story!)

O.K., the Horny Dumb Burglars may not be on free-to-air but in the future, on some channel, you'll see it. Imagine planning the sound design!

"Lucky they heard the neighbour coming."
Daily Telegraph reader Two Dogs

"What a great way to screw up an escape plan!"
Daily Telegraph reader Josh King

"Reminds me of how I met my wife..."
Daily Telegraph reader Scott Bailey

"Happened to me once. "
Daily Telegraph reader Mark of Sydney

Hooters Brunette Proves That Exercise Is Also Good For The Mind

2010-08-25T19:08:00.000-07:00

Despite skyrocketing Obesity rates, everybody knows that exercise is good for you, so I'm publishing this video as an encouragement for one and all.

In it, Christine, an employee of the fine entertainment establishment, Hooters, demonstrates an exercise that obviously needs a lot of concentration - pouring beer, while "riding" an upside down bar-stool - The Infamous Hooter Girl Rodeo Bar Stool trick! It's all part of a telethon for American TV station WGN9 - presumably for a good cause.

N.B.: In case viewers miss all that's going on - for one reason or another - they should replay the video, at least once, for:

0.15 "I think my mother tried this, once!"
0.17 - 0.44 - nonchalant guy in purple in the background
0.26 Christine The Hooter Girl's triumph
0.32 "Is that legal?"
0.35 "Can we teach the kids how to do this?" "No!"
0. 41 Christine winks - Yow!

And why I think that The Infamous Hooter Girl Rodeo Bar Stool trick is good for the mind is that it certainly made me concentrate!

Hooters Brunette Proves That Exercise Is Also Good For The Mind

"What a sweet piece of ass!"
youtube member TakeNoGuff

"Mommy, can I have one!"
youtube member paintbawl

"Thumbs up if u were staring at her ass the whole time :)"
youtube member Supermushiman

"This obviously isn't her first rodeo."
youtube member blitheringFool

"God bless America."
youtube member Broncosfan06

The Coledale Coast Walk, NSW, Australia: People

2010-08-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

I've published the second of my Coledale autobiographical pieces over at Qondio, entitled:

The Coledale Coast Walk, NSW, Australia: People

The piece is atmospheric - at the very least - and the community's comments have been pretty appreciative, which has been great for my ego!

Gay Vicar Weds Nigerian Toyboy

2010-08-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

Only the Sun can serve me up with just the right sort of Trash on a Sunday morning. Yes, it seems that a gay vicar (Anglican priest) is set to "marry" his Nigerian toyboy!

This type of story sets all my lights buzzing:

The vicar's a "he" and the model's a "he" - Homophobia
The vicar's "white" and the model's "black" - Racism
The vicar's 65 and the model's 25 - Ageism
The model would probably have immigration requirements waived - incendiary Politics

And while romantics and non-homophobes are undoubtedly singing "Love Is In the Air", Stephen Green, of lobbying group Christian Voice, said:

"Mr Coward is an emotionally disturbed man trying to inflict his predilections on the rest of the church. I fail to recognize him as a Christian."

Now do you see why it's made my day?

"What did he model, shoes?"
The Sun reader whatthehell

"I don't see how It is possible to post a comment on this unless you agree with it - any other opinion would be classed as Homophobia."
The Sun reader Kisma

"How does one make sense of all this?"
The Sun reader Felyx

Ooh Girl - The Realistic R'n'B Love Song

2010-08-21T01:44:00.000-07:00

I've got to admit, I almost fell off my chair laughing, when I caught this song, Ooh Girl, yesterday. With over 8 million plays, I may be a bit distant from the cutting edge...but at least I found it!

Ooh Girl was created by comedian Mike Polk, who turns the R'n'B macho stud pose on its head with this wimpish, honky hoot.

Mike Polk
Ooh Girl

Oh yeah baby. Barry White, eat your deceased heart out!

"One word: What

Two words: What The
Three words: What The F*CK!!!"
youtube member FulhamFan2

"Maybe this is supposed to be a joke but [it's] way too close to reality for too many of us"
youtube member Just4myis

"The radio station in my town plays this is every Wednesday as the Hump Day song."
youtube member pn300czr

McNuggets Rap

2010-08-19T22:11:00.000-07:00

Well, it's no secret that I'm not the biggest fan of multinational fast food giants but I've got to admit that this rap by Fernando & Thomas is pretty cool. The original was posted on Youtube and recut (or reshot) for an on-air ad. It's true viral marketing and very effective.

Fernando &Thomas
McNuggets recut ad

"wow... that was a waste of 45 sec. of my time..."

xxghost93xx

"...haha! i was singing this during cheerleadin'! lol we made a dance of it!"

girliegurl10112

"...can someone be kind enough to tell me how to make this a ring tone?"

chunkylover1138

Introducing Antoine Dodson

2010-08-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

It took me 3 weeks to discover Antoine Dodson - the world's latest viral sensation. In a not very funny situation, he's hilarious!

However, it's the groovy R'n'B song that's followed it that knocks my socks off. Created by The Gregory Brothers and unashamedly commercial, the video is even better - a true piece of post-modernist art.

Dig it!

STOP PRESS:

Bed Intruder song has hit the Top 100 on Billboard!

The Gregory Brothers & Antoine Dodson: Bed Intruder Song

Antoine Dodson - a hero for his 15 minutes of fame, homeboy.

"I can't stop singing this! I SING IT IN THE SHOWER! Everyone is getting annoyed!"
youtube member antiheroo26

"I hid my husband, wife and kids, I think I'm safe. Thank God."
youtube member Ir3pulsive

"Antoine Dodson = National hero."
youtube member b1moulto

See also:

Rocketboom reference The Bed Intruder Song in a video discussing the decline in sales of online recordings!

The Coledale Caravan Park, NSW, Australia

2010-08-17T02:04:00.000-07:00

In a concerted effort to spread my writings around a little more, I posted a slice of biography that I would previously have posted here on Qondio - a writing site that few people have heard of. However, I think I can make it work for me, so if you're interested in it, head on over to:

The Coledale Caravan Park, NSW, Australia

Who Is Coming To This Blog?

2010-08-16T04:04:00.000-07:00

Six months into the web visitors' year, this is what you lot look like!

Click on image for a larger view

A big hello to all my readers in Indonesia, the Republic of Korea & Iran - I can't imagine what you're doing here but welcome!

United States (US) 2,401
Australia (AU) 380
Canada (CA) 364
United Kingdom (GB) 362
India (IN) 255
Germany (DE) 164
Netherlands (NL) 81
South Africa (ZA) 79
France (FR) 71
United Arab Emirates (AE) 59
Sweden (SE) 45
Italy (IT) 42
Indonesia (ID) 41
Brazil (BR) 40
Malaysia (MY) 40
Mexico (MX) 39
Philippines (PH) 36
Poland (PL) 33
Saudi Arabia (SA) 33
Ireland (IE) 33
Denmark (DK) 32
Norway (NO) 31
Belgium (BE) 26
Turkey (TR) 24
Spain (ES) 24
Pakistan (PK) 22
Kuwait (KW) 20
Hungary (HU) 19
Thailand (TH) 19
New Zealand (NZ) 19
Egypt (EG) 17
Switzerland (CH) 17
Czech Republic (CZ) 17
Finland (FI) 16
Portugal (PT) 16
Greece (GR) 16
Serbia (RS) 15
Singapore (SG) 15
Japan (JP) 14
Austria (AT) 14
Israel (IL) 13
Europe (EU) 12
Argentina (AR) 12
Slovakia (SK) 11
Croatia (HR) 11
Bahrain (BH) 10
Korea, Republic of (KR) 10
Bangladesh (BD) 10
Romania (RO) 10
Maldives (MV) 10
Lithuania (LT) 9
Tunisia (TN) 9
Bulgaria (BG) 9
Oman (OM) 9
Hong Kong (HK) 8
Chile (CL) 8
Peru (PE) 8
Slovenia (SI) 8
Puerto Rico (PR) 8
Russian Federation (RU) 7
Morocco (MA) 7
Jordan (JO) 7
Lebanon (LB) 6
Venezuela (VE) 6
Latvia (LV) 6
Estonia (EE) 5
Nepal (NP) 5
Trinidad and Tobago (TT) 5
Cyprus (CY) 5
Taiwan (TW) 5
Colombia (CO) 5
Iraq (IQ) 4
Vietnam (VN) 4
Mauritius (MU) 4
Algeria (DZ) 4
Malta (MT) 3
Bosnia and Herzegovina (BA) 3
Macedonia (MK) 3
Qatar (QA) 3
Panama (PA) 3
Guatemala (GT) 3
Sri Lanka (LK) 3
Nigeria (NG) 3
Yemen (YE) 3
Macau (MO) 3
Iran, Islamic Republic of (IR) 3
Aruba (AW) 3
El Salvador (SV) 2
Ukraine (UA) 2
Ecuador (EC) 2
Iceland (IS) 2
Paraguay (PY) 2
Bolivia (BO) 2
Kenya (KE) 2
Suriname (SR) 2
Costa Rica (CR) 2
Lao People's Democratic Republic (LA) 2
Honduras (HN) 2
Sudan (SD) 2
Dominican Republic (DO) 2
Vanuatu (VU) 1
Tanzania, United Republic of (TZ) 1
Isle of Man (IM) 1
Haiti (HT) 1
Fiji (FJ) 1
Palestinian Territory (PS) 1
Libyan Arab Jamahiriya (LY) 1
New Caledonia (NC) 1
Namibia (NA) 1
Reunion (RE) 1
Armenia (AM) 1
Albania (AL) 1
Asia/Pacific Region (AP) 1
Moldova, Republic of (MD) 1
Cambodia (KH) 1
Nicaragua (NI) 1
Guam (GU) 1
Ghana (GH) 1
Georgia (GE) 1
Brunei Darussalam (BN) 1
Montenegro (ME) 1
Luxembourg (LU) 1
Jamaica (JM) 1
French Guiana (GF) 1

As a special present to all of you readers, here's an early Christmas present - an outsourced Santa.

Merry Christmas!

Shit My Dad Says

2010-08-14T17:23:00.000-07:00

I spent yesterday making a new Squidoo lens for Shit My Dad Says.

It's an incredible story that goes:

partly-employed comedy writer breaks up with longtime girlfriend & goes back home to live with his Mom & Dad
August 2009, son starts Twittering Dad's outrageous sayings
September 2009 later son has 1 million Twitter followers and an agent
October 2009 he has a book deal
November 2009 CBS say they're taking an option to make a sitcom based on the Twitterings
June 2010 Sit My Dad Says the book is released and becomes a best-seller
$#*! My Dad Says sitcom to be premiered in September 2010

Does that give you any ideas? Check it out!

Dexter Is Back

2010-08-12T14:33:00.000-07:00

Commercial time!

The new season of Dexter is on its way. Hooray! Looks like Michael C. Hall has recovered from Hodgkin's lymphoma, which is great news.

Mind you, I haven't even seen season 4 yet but things are looking up for my blood-thirsty-viewing.

Who Are You Going To Vote For?

2010-08-11T01:09:00.000-07:00

My favorite tabloid, The Sun, reports today on wannabe politician, Robert Hull, who, having lost in the recent British general election has now decided that he wants to have a sex change. Mr. Hull has, apparently, now changed his name "to Rianna Humble [and] proudly wears a red bobbed wig and fake boobs."

While not as good as being able to vote for Michael Organ, the Greens candidate, who I voted for in 2002 - primarily because of his name - Mr. Hull would probably get my vote this time, as even an unattractive transvestite is more interesting to me than most politicians lining up for our upcoming federal election, here in Australia.

Democracy - it takes all kinds!

*****

Joke from an English transvestite site - I Googled it!

Q: What do you call a bear who has a flat in Brighton [British gay capital] and another one in San Francisco?
A: Winnie the Poof.

Where Is Dick?

2010-08-10T02:29:00.000-07:00

N.B. I was asked by my teenage son, Jamie, to mention his friends:

Nathan
Sam
Tom
Harry
Ranga
Ellott &
Bunyip

in a blog post, so I took half an hour off to improvise some near-automatic writing silliness for them. It appears that they are occasional readers of this blog, so, as they say in the ancient Lithuanian language of Scorpat - now generally in disuse -"Incharo Kampateni Scrofals Shink", which roughly translates as "Hello, guys".

Normal service will be resumed next post!

*****

"Where Is Dick?" is not some mutter gay-bar heart flutter. No, "Where Is Dick?" may be the clue to the solving of some grueling murders here on the South coast of Australia! The answer lies, surprisingly, in the web stats for this unassuming, always-modest blog.

You see, my spies at Google - what, you didn't know that I have close ties with the Chinese Government and the Russian Mob? - have alerted me that two of the regular readers to this blog are:

Tom a.k.a Hellman, a grommet, whose ambition is to eventually Hang 10 (or Hang 1010 in binary) but whose real claim-to-fame is running a burger-to-beach service catering to portly Aussie lasses who're munching out on Chiko Rolls, Sausage Rolls, Lump-of-lard Rolls while their "blokes" carve out and stuff &
Harry - who, as you might imagine - could easily be confused with King Harold of England who was killed in 1066 at the Battle of Hastings by an arrow through the eye fighting vainly to repel the Norman Invasion

Harry {cont'd) or even Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry, known for the phrase "Make my day!"

(Harry cont'd) but who is, in fact, Japanese Android H.A.R.R.Y (Human Android Really Really Yannoying) - I know it's a spelling mistake but they are Japanese - no wonder they lost the war! Harry's purpose - presently appears to be solely to promote the careers of Stanwell Park duo Benson & Baden, a pop-folk duo, whose new album includes sickeningly saccharine tracks like My Heart Is Bigger Than The Both Of Us (anatomically interesting, at least!) Spitting At Me Only Shows How Much You Need Me (B-a-y-b-a-y) It appears that H.A.R.R.Y is plastering their pathetic faces on posters from here to Dapto (nobody ever goes south of Dapto) telling everyone how great they are

So, it's obvious, while this blog is now read by every Tom, Dick & H.A.R.R.Y, there's no Dick!

What could have happened to this blog's Dick?

I'll tell you what's happened to this blog's Dick - he's been murdered!

Sound F/X: Big Dramatic Chord

Once I was alerted to this Dick-less problem, it rapidly became my contention that poor Dick has been murdered by...

Sound F/X: Another Dramatic Chord

...another reader of this blog, The Artist Formerly Known As Elliott (see: The artist formerly known as Prince). Once a normal, functioning member of Australian society, Elliott suddenly changed his name by deed poll to Cadaver King - indeed, he tried, unsuccessfully, to launch a fat food outlet by the same name but it didn't catch on - but has, in his bitterness, now changed his name to The Artist Formerly Known As Elliott and launched himself as the world's first Cadaver Artist.

His most famous work was named Sam At McDonald's, in which his pet sheep, Sam, was dressed as Christ and crucified on a Ronald McDonald while Hamburglar (dressed as a Roman centurion) thrust a lance into Sam's side, from which a half digested Happy Meal tumbled - with Sam pathetically holding the free toy in his hoof.

Why I'm so sure that Dick has been murdered by The Artist Formerly Known As Elliott is that it's obvious that "Dick" would be associate with male "animal nature" and recent evidence provide by Inspector Nathan of the Wollongong Constabulary proves that The Artist Formerly Known As Elliott has killed, spectacularly, at least twice, recently - and both were readers of this blog with "animal" connections!

In July, "Ranga" (Australian slang - Orangutan - Ranga - given to anyone with red hair) was found floating above W.I.N. Stadium in Wollongong (What do they call it when we lose?) during a recent rugby league match, pumped up to 12 times his size with helium and a note saying "He said he wanted some air!"
Just yesterday, the lifeless body of "Bunyip" (Australian mythology - a large Australian swamp-dwelling mammal) was found, BBQ-d alive and strapped to a Weber BBQ and that had been hurtled through the front window of Woolworth in Wollongong, again with a note, this time saying "Woolworths? I'll show you fresh food people!"

Captain Nathan (not to be confused with Nathan, son of King Solomon and Bathsheba or the suburb of Brisbane, Queensland) assures me that forensics are on the trail of The Artist Formerly Known As Elliott and that "We should have him within half a dozen more victims, or so."

"Or So"?

How many blog readers does he think I have?

5 Great Office Quotes

2010-08-08T15:02:00.000-07:00

Here are 5 great office quotes, discovered at the marvelous www.Overheard In The Office.com

Employee sitting at lunch table: Dude, this pepper shaker does not fuck around. It is amazing.

Portland, Oregon

Ski instructor: Well, at least it's snowing today. Yesterday we had rain.
First time skier: Oh, so this is snow, is it? Not rain?
Ski instructor: Well, yeah...
First time skier: So what does rain look like up here?

Smiggin Holes, Australia

Young male coworker: Do remember that time you ran around naked?
Younger female coworker: I wasn't naked, I just didn't have any clothes on.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

65-something delivery man to 30-something female receptionist, as she bends over to lift printer: Oh, wait, let me do that. I don't want you to hurt your ovaries.

Denver, Colorado

Sales Rep: I'm rich today because I decided not to pay my car payment this month. Suck it, bank!

St. Paul, Minnesota

Monty Python's Dead Parrot Sketch - The Truth Revealed!

2010-08-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

The BBC reported in November 2008 that the ancestor to Monty Python's famous Dead Parrot sketch had been unearthed - almost literally! Dead Parrot sketch ancestor found.

In Philogelos: The Laugh Addict (FREE download) - which has recently been translated from the Ancient Greek (4th Century A.D.) manuscripts - there is a joke in which, like in the parrot sketch, a man complains that a slave that he has recently been sold has died.

Vendor "When he was with me, he never did any such thing!"

Monty Python: The Parrot Sketch

There are also many other jokes in Philogelos: The Laugh Addict, which appear very modern - or at least from the 20th Century - like the following, in which someone needles a well-known wit:

"I had your wife, without paying a penny."

The wit replies:

"It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity - what made you do it?"

Philogelos: The Laugh Addict comes in e-reader form and includes a really interesting introduction about the contemporary Greek society and several videos, in which veteran English comic, Jim Bowen, talks about the material and even performs some of it.

My verdict: Well worth catching!

The Alien / UFO Thing

2010-08-06T00:33:00.000-07:00

I've just somehow spent over a week on my Alien Intrusion Squidoo lens, an intro to the whole Aliens / UFO "thing". Irrespective of your stand on the subject, I invite you to have a peek at it as it does contain some interesting info, in particular:

how the build-up of the Cold War played an integral part in UFO hysteria
quotes by astronauts who're convinced that UFOs are real & since this is frequently a pop music blog
how - and this is not to be missed! - ex-Van Halen lead singer, Sammy Hagar, claims his brain was downloaded by aliens!

Beam me up, Scotty or as I say on Alpha Centauri

"Klaatu, Barada, Nikto."

John Lennon: I Saw A UFO In New York!

2010-08-01T04:57:00.000-07:00

My favorite loony of all time, Mr. John Lennon, is recorded during a radio interview to hype Walls & Bridges, talking about seeing a UFO in New York in the summer of 1974!

Did somebody mention "acid flashback"?

Then again, there's always his song from 1980, Nobody Told Me (released on Milk & Honey)

Everybody's smoking and no one's getting high
Everybody's flying and never touch the sky
There's a UFO over New York and I ain't too surprised
Nobody told me there'd be days like these

However, apparently "five other calls [were made] that night from the same area to NYC PD reporting UFO sightings/encounters" youtube member linclink

Mr. Creepo goes into Lennon's UFO story (via an interview with Lennon's then-girlfriend, May Pang), in more detail, hilariously recounting the story with cute, primitive graphics.

Damnations - I Forgot To Buy My Fallout Shelter!

2010-07-31T06:16:00.000-07:00

While doing some research on the cold war for my Squidoo lens on ALIENS, I came across this remnant from the Cold War (yes, I have a great intro to it on my lens), telling people how they should seriously get a fallout shelter in their home, in case the Russians drop the bomb!

What they forgot to mention is that you should always remember to have suitable entertainment while you're waiting for the dust to settle. I'm taking a book on how to knit, that should use up the time well.

Yikes! What if - after the bomb - the sheep have no wool?

Basil Marceaux : The Next Governor of Tennessee

2010-07-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, Basil Marceaux is my idea of what the Republican Party is presently offering the USA. He's no rocket scientist, mumbles rather a lot, saying things like:

"I want you to say the pledge of allegiance to republicdom in the morning when you come out and... we all pray to God a-and say Amen and everyone have a nice day and I'll see you all at da polls.

Thank you. Have a nice day."

but his heart is in the right place. It's your vote!

"Can anyone here translate lawn gnome?" youtube member Electric Harbor

"Basil Marceaux for PRESIDENT 2012" youtube member youneedmorecowbell

"Basil rocks!" youtube member Mhabalzizhari

Sexual Harassment In The Workplace

2010-07-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

I love this take by Saturday Night Live on Sexual Harassment. I think it's, what, about 100% right?

I Didn't Just Watch Kung Fu When I Was A Kid

2010-07-17T21:25:00.000-07:00

The latest piece of work that I've done on Squidoo is the catchily-titled:

The Relationship Between The Tao,Tai Chi, Yin & Yang And Feng Shui

which I purchased off a Squidoo member as part of a 3 for $20 deal. Mind you, that $20 was just part of my Squidoo earnings so it didn't cost me nuffink, really!

I was all prepared to just tart it up but spent a fair bit of time in the end, principally because I have a personal allegiance to that kinda stuff, having spent years studying Yoga & Kung Fu (amongs other esoterica).

Anyway, the lens is a damn good read, if I say so myself, so check it out.

And Even More Squidoo Games

2010-07-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

As part of a much larger experiment in social networking, these early times on Squidoo are still bearing interesting fruit.

One of these is Cool Timer, a pre-owned page that had some Google juice (Page Rank 2 for the geeks), which had been created for Cool Timer, a FREE software download. I bought this fairly naked, under-developed page for $5 and built a bizarre comedic argument for buying an egg timer - a cool timer! It was certainly a fun and interesting task.

I also finished off Cute Kids - a collection of viral videos with over 500 million views on Youtube alone.

Next up is a Christian author and a page on Yin & Yang!

More Squidoo Games

2010-07-01T03:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, sirs & madams,

I'm still exploring Squidoo, building lenses for some videos. The process is a small part of an experiment in Social Media that I'm designing for a client. Essentially we create a minor "Entertainment" product in a social media site like Squidoo, such as these new, rather frivolous lenses:

then drive organic Squidoo traffic towards them, then
offer them to Wordpress (the biggest blog network in the world) bloggers as Wordpress posts via a sneaky back door solution & finally
use whatever income is generated to finance campaigns in social media sites such as DIGG & Stumbleupon

Fun, fun, fun!

Guinness: Share It With A Friend Or Two Advertisement

2010-06-26T00:53:00.000-07:00

While doing a little research for my two new Squidoo "lenses" (i.e. mini-sites):

My Favorite Beer Ads 1 - 5

My Favorite Beer Ads 6 - 10

I chanced upon this ad for Guinness, which I didn't include in my pages, simply because it's the naughtiest that I've ever seen. and I didn't consider it appropriate for the Squidoo community.

However, I did think that this blog's audience was broadminded enough to view it.

Guinness: Share It With A Friend Or Two

My goodness, though, what were they all doing?

Kate Bush Parody

2010-05-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

I'm about to start something of a Kate Bush festival on this blog and as a terrible introduction, here's British actor/comedian, Steve Coogan and his alter-ego, the nerdish Alan Partridge performing a Kate Bush medley.

Alan Partridge: Kate Bush Medley

Kate Bush is certainly better than that, as I hope you'll soon find out!

Any Silly Excuse: #1 - Miranda Kerr

2010-03-25T20:26:00.000-07:00

Perhaps because it's light, perhaps because it's ridiculously 1920s but mostly because it's Buddhist fashion model, Miranda Kerr, showing off Victoria Secrets' new bikini range, here's just over a minute of unadulterated fluff.

Any Silly Excuse: Miranda Kerr

Yes, a truly silly excuse to publish a video with a pretty girl starring in it.

Those Poor Bankers

2010-03-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

Damnations!

The project that I'm caught up in may take another month to finish, so posts will still be sporadic. Nevertheless - true confessions - I'm still finding time to take an unhealthy interest in American politics.

One of the more obscure happenings this week was Republican House Minority Leader John "Tan Boy" Boehner, saying to bankers whose excessive activities may soon be curtailed by the Obama White House:

"Don’t let those little punk staffers take advantage of you..."

Over at Paul Krugman's blog, it prompted comment #28:

Reminds me of something a Merrill Lynch guy told me in the midst of his firm's meltdown:

'Some bureaucrat punk from Treasury who makes a hundred thou a year is gonna come in here and tell us what to do????'

Talk about clueless . . .

I Couldn't Resist It!

2010-02-20T19:29:00.000-08:00

Juvenile?

Guilty as charged, m'lud. However, in my defence may I plead boyish silliness. You've got to laugh at this soon-to-be sailor's predicament.

Love Shack: The B52s

2010-02-18T23:19:00.000-08:00

N.B.: Blogging will be intermittent until Mid-March as I'm presently snowed under with a new work project!

In hindsight, the end of 1989 until the end of 1990 were probably the most difficult years of my life (and to be honest, it's all a bit of a blur until mid-1992).

However, even through that grim 15 months, The B52s album Cosmic Thing stands out as brilliant sunshine, everything that I love about the non-serious side of pop music. The stand-out track - amongst a number of other terrific ones - is the glorious, effervescent Love Shack, still sounding great 20 years later.

Love Shack: The B52s

Thanks for the help, guys.

Incidentally, the final lyric:

Fred: You're what?

Cindy: Tin roof, rusted!

means that Cindy's pregnant!

America's Tea Party: Modern Terrorists

2010-02-16T19:09:00.000-08:00

In case you'd like to know more about the Tea Party, the curious right-wing alliance which is increasingly becoming more vocal and, arguably, influential in the USA - The New York Times will fill you in.

The Tea Party is predominantly:

white
Christian (not mentioned in the article)
Middle-aged and older
Gun-loving
Sarah Palin-loving

and in my eyes, is a ramshackle collection of simpletons being manipulated by big business to create mayhem, end the democratic process as we know it, in the name of American Patriotism.

Fueled by shock jocks, Rupert Murdoch's shameful Fox Network, and dubious extremist sources from the internet, The Tea Party, like Iran's pathetic, present leaders, sadly out of touch with Reality, trying to preserve a reality that has long-vanished. They are doomed to fail.

Good.

Hello Sunday Morning: A Great Australian Story

2010-02-14T20:37:00.000-08:00

It was my pleasure to catch this story in the Sydney Morning Herald, this morning. It's about young, former binge - 15-20 drinks a night on weekends - drinker, Chris Raine, who spent one year, 2009, as a teetotaler.

Mr. Raine blogged about it for a year at Hello Sunday Morning and now there are a number of other young people doing the same (found via his site).

He emerged in 2010 as both confident young man and a moderate social drinker, who is now hoping to gain governmental support to warn other kids - not just about the dangers of binge drinking - but more importantly, why he thinks its happening.

Great stuff! I can't help but think that Mr. Raine will be far more effective than the big budget ads that seem to inadvertently (except for the punch line) make binge drinking seem quite fun.

Anti-Binge-Drinking Ad

The Heart Attack Grill Revisited

2010-02-11T22:20:00.000-08:00

Readers of this blog may remember a post that I did on The Heart Attack Grill (includes a great video) in Arizona USA, a burger joint which serves fat-proud fast food, including the outrageous Quadruple Bypass Burger.

Well, The New York Daily News reports that an upstart, The Heart Stoppers Sports Grill in Florida, which offers such treats as:

Chili Chest Pain Fries
Death By Burger &
Killer Wings

is being sued by The Heart Attack Grill for stealing their idea of a coronary-inducing menu.

What can I say?

You May Now Kiss The Bride

2010-02-10T23:16:00.000-08:00

So, you've paid the dowry, bestowed gifts upon your soon-to-be in-laws, organized, paid for the preacher and the reception - then, as the preacher solemnly says:

You may now kiss the bride.

You lift the veil to see your wife for the very first time...

Uh-oh!

The Sydney Morning Herald takes up the story.