Dickless

OK, I'm sure we all agree that it's pretty poor form to cut off your son's dick.

And it's downright weird to chop your dick off in a pizza restaurant - I mean, how do they top that for a special?

But spare a thought for the nameless in-love chappie from Egypt who was forced to marry another woman. The Sydney Morning Herald reports that he hacked away at his old feller and is now permanently dickless.

Latest reports are that he is emigrating to Australia and is going to enter federal politics because he has been assured that he has all the qualifications needed.

Andrew Goulding

Follow my various blogs easily via Twitter

The Changing Face of Television News Reporting

I don't know about you but I find that even more than a few minutes of Entertainment Tonight to be so fast-moving that (as well as the content), I feel dizzy and slightly nauseated after watching it for more than a few minutes.

Anyway, it appears that News may be heading that way. Check out this CNN video, about the murder of an attractive woman and her two sons (not quite a Yee - Haaa! moment because they were strangled), possibly by their father, an ex-marine.

While the editing is basically simple, cutting between a reporter and the talking head, the graphics are intense - quite an experience.

Frankly, they suggest a society so in need of stimulation that it cannot possibly be at peace with itself and that if the U.S. government is successful in its anti-drugs fights in Mexico & Afghanistan - another two home-grown/made drugs will inevitably, soon to be found. One will pick people up (like cocaine) and one will bring them down (like marijuana).

As for the case - well, those crimes don't tend to happen in the rest of the world - but they're becoming obscenely common in the USA. Yee - haa!

Intern Has Affair With President Of The USA

Shock! Horror! Debauchery!

It's been revealed that the president of the United States had a 17-month affair with an intern, one Mimi Beardsley Alford.

No, it wasn't Bill Clinton.

It was John F. Kennedy (I wonder what the initial "F" was for).

The Sydney Morning Herald reports today that JFK regularly tapped his young intern, now a 66 year old matron...

"Tart," I say. "Dirty little slut!"

Hmmm.

In hindsight one can't help but wonder how the Monica Lewinsky scandal may have hampered Clinton's focus during the late 1990s and how that may have inadvertently helped 9/11 - Afghanistan - Iraq come to fruition.

It's food for thought but however you look at it, the trial cost America big:

• the cost of the trial, itself
  
• denigrating the presidency
• bring the term "blow-jobs" to the lips of many shockable Christians
• ruining a young girls' life, shamelessly etc.
  

...the result of which was that George Bush just sneaked past the post in the 2000 election with a dubious vote in Florida.

Yes, things would have been very different indeed.

...And that JFK was such a nice man. How could he?

Miranda Kerr: Aussie Uber-Babe

The mysterious Madame X, my paramour, showed me a gossip mag last night with a picture of Australian model, Miranda Kerr, in it - the unpretentious babe all Aussie chicks think they're really like, underneath the extra 50 lbs that most of them carry.

Miranda Kerr: Aussie Uber-Babe

The reporter from Australian tabloid TV's Today Tonight, in 2006 is, of course at pains to spruik her Aussie "down to earth" qualities, which are, apparently, "unique in a super-model".

Hmmm.

"Unusual", maybe but if I remember correctly, both Claudia Schiffer & Cindy Crawford were pretty classy and I'm sure there have been others.

My poor countrymen (and women), delusional as ever. Trust me, Miranda Kerr is quite unlike most Aussie girls her age, who are, in my

last-Friday-night-at-the-kebab-shop-opposite-Wollongong's-top-night-spot

observation (where I'd popped in to buy a baklava), fat, loud, drunk and brash! In fact, they were damn scary, en masse.

If you check Miranda's video, you'll see her parents at about 2.00 (and perhaps wonder if the milkman was Italian royalty) - she looks nothing like her dad and little like her mum. However, looks aside, they seem like good, salt-of-the-earth people who've done a great job bringing up a lovely girl.

N.B.: "Kerr reportedly chants every morning and night for 20 minutes, practices yoga, meditates and reads widely on spirituality." wikipedia

Now, consider who didn't bring up their girls to be class acts!

Once again, Australia, I mutter:

"Cause and Effect, Cause and Effect."

The Onion Reviews New Star Trek Movie

In many peoples eyes, the world is divided into two sets of people:

1. Star Wars fans &
2. Star Trek fans

all the rest are either chicks or just don't count. Luckily, I'm in one of the Star Wars group, so I do count. However, such is the allegiance that I have to admit, I've never seen a Star Trek movie, even on video / DVD.

That's all going to change, because I'm definitely going to catch the new Star Trek movie soon, if only because of this wonderful review by The Onion:

The Onion Reviews New Star Trek Movie

And while I'll moan about too many movies being glorified comic books that have to be dumbing-down our youth, this one looks like fun! See you at the movies.

Andrew Goulding

Follow my various blogs easily via Twitter

A Kooky Japanese TV Ad

Here's a bizarre TV advertisement from Japan, first spotted over at Mangosteen Juice Testimonials.

It's for a tea that is supposed to reduce high blood pressure and I won't even try to explain, it has to be seen to be believed!

A Kooky Japanese TV Ad

Oh boy, now that's really weird.

Andrew Goulding

Follow my various blogs easily via Twitter

It's Your Right To Drown!

One of the big problems I have in Life is that, although a natural conservative, in that I completely believe that most great works / businesses / empires are only created by one (or a few) person (s) with vision - and a capacity for hard work - and these people MUST be encouraged financially to take the relevant risks.

However, I am inevitably appalled by virtually every right wing politician!
Certainly within Australia and to a lesser extent, the USA, conservatives appear to be far less intelligent than their left wing counterparts, often hysterically out-of-touch with the man in the street and most importantly, part of a desperate coalition with shock-jocks & tabloid TV to dumb down debate of any kind.

So, it was with some amusement that I read CNN's report about America's House of Representatives, OK-ing a $6.4 billion dollar bill to make U.S. schools greener.

"...The nation's schools are hundreds of billions of dollars short of what it would take to bring them into good condition, according to recent estimates cited by the House committee.

...In fact, the American Society of Civil Engineers gave schools across the country a "D" on its national infrastructure report card for this year.....

...Among other things, the bill allocates substantial funds for improvements along the Gulf Coast, where many school districts are still struggling to repair buildings damaged by hurricanes Katrina and Rita..."

So, jeepers, if the money is there, it makes sense on every level , yes?

And so it was with the bill being passed:

"...275-155 in a largely party-line vote..."

It appears that the Republicans voted against it because:

"The federal government has always maintained a limited role in Education, focusing on key academic priorities such as closing achievement gaps between disadvantaged students and their peers and ensuring services for children with disabilities,"

said Rep. Howard P. "Buck" McKeon, R-California, the Education and Labor Committee's top Republican.

"The construction and renovation of schools are among the most fundamental rights and responsibilities belonging to states and local communities."

So, even though the states have severely neglected their duties and public schools are in considerable disrepair, the Republicans are prepared to fight for the right for them to be in disrepair.

Yes, it's your right to drown - don't let the commies take that away from you, Heaven forbid.

Andrew Goulding

Follow my various blogs easily via Twitter

Red House: The Worst Commercial Ever?

There seems to be some debate in cyberspace as to whether The Red House's race-centered commercial is the worst ever.

Frankly, I don't see what the problem is. Yes it's crass, yes it's awfully made but Advertising is meant to make a product memorable - and I call 750,000 hits on Youtube a success, don't you?

Red House: The Worst Commercial Ever?

Andrew Goulding

Follow my various blogs easily via Twitter

Yee-haa! Gun Lobby Capers # 19

Just when you thought that the USA had started reading this blog and been shamed into putting away their guns, a Texas couple, Sheila & Gayle Muhs, may charged with murder, after:

• shooting and killing a 7 year old boy
• shooting his father and sister, mild injuries
  
• shooting a family friend, 30 in the head, still in a serious condition

Yahoo News reports that:

"...The boy, his five-year-old sister, their father and a family friend were off-roading near a residential area about 65km northeast of Houston when they were shot after stopping so the children could go to the bathroom.

Authorities said the couple fired after they mistakenly thought the group was trespassing on their property..."

Jesus For Guns

Yee haa!!

Andrew Goulding

Follow my various blogs easily via Twitter

Killer Dogs Cop It!

Damnations! It appears that one of the first items on my to-do list for when I become Global Dictator will have to be crossed off!

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that Aussie boof-head Nick Raptis was fined $A20,000 as a result of his pit bull terrier attacking a lap dog (somewhat sadly named Honey) and eating it for lunch - raw, in front of its owner's eyes.

Whoops!

I can't see why people are allowed to have these breeds of killer dogs, they're disasters waiting to happen. So, if the authorities won't ban them outright, they are, at least, moving in the right direction and I'm hoping for six figure fines in the future. Goodness me, these creatures are assaulting man, woman, child & beast and need to be stopped. I think the risk of losing your home will be a major deterrent in deciding whether to own them.

Mind you, as Global Dictator, I shall also be banning lap dogs but that's another story, altogether.

Woof.

Andrew Goulding

Follow my various blogs easily via Twitter

Australia Goes Green

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that the Australian government is to offer householders with a combined income of up to $A250,000 ($U.S.200,000) an interest-free loan of up to $10,000 to make their homes energy-efficient.

I'd like to see that go further and be extended to solar energy, which, while it would probably be revenue-neutral for the home-owners 10 years, or so, would be fantastic for the country's carbon footprint.

Go Australia - now let's see other nations* fall in.





* If it turns out that Australia is following other nations' lead, a tip-o'-the-hat to them.

A Huge Increase In Visitors

As I mentioned on my post Where's All That Traffic Coming From? last month, there's been a steady increase of traffic to this little blog, now clocking in at around 50 per day.

Looking at the logs, though, they're not coming for my writing, they're mostly popping in via Google Images to see whatever titillating or gross picture I've published and finding them via my picture descriptions.

I've decided to call this one:

sexy-nude-babes-euro-soccer-painted-chicks

Well, it's descriptive, at least!

Why Soccer Is Better Than Buggerby

Andrew Goulding

Follow my various blogs easily via Twitter

Swine Flu: Business As Usual

So, we're a couple of weeks into the Swine Flu Epidemic and the ABC reports that 22 people have died, virtually all in Mexico but medical health authorities around the world are, as I'm sure you're aware, on alert. A spokeswoman for the US Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Dr. Anne Schuchat said:

"...Virtually all of the United States probably has this virus circulating now...from what I know about influenza, I do expect more cases, more severe cases, and I do expect more deaths..."

However awful this is, we need to take some perspective on the issue. www.disastercenter.com provides some stats that in the USA, there were 16.929 (reported) murders in 2007 - that's approximately 320 per day!

Compare that to the Swine flu and the reality of the real danger becomes more apparent. Because of these statistics and the global over-reaction to them, I see the present fears of a pandemic as a lot of hot air which has three major results:

1. that people feel helpless
   
2. that their irrational dependence on "Health" professionals is increased &
3. that they look to the Pharmaceutical Industry to save them, rather than build up their own Immune systems
   

Also, having worked in the media for many years, I'm fully aware that the fears of a pandemic is being hyped by the Press because it sells papers / increases # of viewers.

In the end, what is the swine flu?

A virulent Influenza that seems to have killed people in Mexico (probably with very low Immune systems) - but seems to not be lethal anywhere else.

Hell, plenty of people die every year from Influenza & Bronchits - even Asthma - and it's no big deal to the majority of folks.

The Swine flu phenomenon is a hysteria fanned by several powerful spheres of influence - who are all primarily interested in Power & Money. If you understand the rules of the game it becomes a lot easier to play.

Update:

While it may not be directly related, CNN reports a few days later:

"...The Rev. Michael Pfleger has ordered the American flag at St. Sabina Church hung upside-down - a historic sign of distress - to symbolize the growing death toll among the city's youngsters.

So far this school year, 36 children and teens have been murdered - more than one a week - and Pfleger is among a chorus of weary Chicagoans who say the slayings aren't getting the attention they deserve.

Had 36 kids died of swine flu this year, 'there would be this great influx of resources that say: Let's stop this, lets deal with this,' Pfleger said.

Instead, because violence is driving the epidemic, "We're hiding it. We're ignoring it. We're denying the problems," he said..."

Andrew Goulding

Follow my various blogs easily via Twitter

Republicans Want A Makeover

N.B.: U.S. Politics!


CNN reports that Republicans are kicking off a campaign to shine the party's image. Good luck! In the messy cocktail of Republican values:

• belief in an American God
• pro- gun lobby
• anti-gay rights
• pro-Life
• the legacy of George Bush
  
• the corporate thieves who have scammed bail-out money

...there seems little for them to build with.

Republican commentator David Brooks was saying on The Jim Lehrer Show yesterday that Republicans are now moving so far to the right that free enterprise republicans are leaving the Republican party and beginning to side with the Democrats, simply because the Republican Party has become so extreme. He predicts a couple of big defeats before they can regenerate from an intellectual core tather than a reactionary one, which is obviously going nowhere.

DAVID BROOKS: ...it will just take awhile. I have a baseball coach friend who says, "You don't change when you see the light. You change when you feel the heat." And you've got to lose some elections. They're going to have to lose two elections. And I think it's going to take a long time for them to really change.

I agree. Unless Obama gets the economics wrong, I predict Democrat governemts until 2024 (at least!), simply because of changing demographics with:

• a (mostly) conservative generation dying off
• American citizenship offered to illegal Hispanics (who will become mostly Democrats)
• dropping birth rates among whites and continual high birth rates for blacks & hispanics

The Republicans can try as much as they like but the America that they tried to create under Bush is gone.