But Why Sunglasses?

The other day I was struttin' into beautiful downtown Wollongong, trying, once more, to make my peace with that overbearing bully, Bill Collectors.

Anyway, I'm groovin' along to my note-perfect mental reconstruction of Billy Idol's Dancing With Myself (who needs Ipods when you've got Rock'n'Roll bad-ass bubblegum memories?)...when some middle-aged dude in sunglasses on a push-bike almost runs me over on the damned footpath.

Thinking "There but for the Grace of God go you and I", I wasn't too upset, more a little shocked...but why sunglasses? Surely he wasn't trying to be "cool"? I mean, it's winter here in Oz and the afternoon brings severely diminished light. To wear sunglasses in those conditions is downright ridiculous!

Note to self: In parallel universe do a degree in Optical Medicine, it's a growth area.

It's not just him, though. I see plenty of teens and twenty something freaky frauleins doing the same. How sunglasses are meant to add a certain je ne sais quoi to a half-blind sex-queen with elephant thighs and a crappy attitude is beyond me. Ah, Stupidity, thy name is human.

Billy Idol
Dancing With Myself

Hey, who am I calling stoopid? I was singing this rubbish to myself at the time...and....actually, I've has a soft spot for Billy Idol for a few years, now. Again, with shameless self-promotion, the explanation is in a post from a while back, Welcome Back Colleen...with a Billy Idol bit almost at the end, by the way. How's that for continuity?

Andrew Goulding

Tearaway Ted -v- Madame X

So, it's Friday morning, it's pouring down with rain and Madame X, my paramour, has graciously offered to give me a lift into beautiful downtown Wollongong to do a spot of real-world chores.

She's backing out of the driveway in her chunky Pierce Brosnan sedan and Tearaway Ted, in his matchbox on wheels zooms up at maxi-rev (perhaps 50 mph/ 80kph), horn blaring in explosive road rage that she's had the audacity to delay him by perhaps a second or two...and screeches to a noisy halt, a meter or so from her rear.

Well, Madame X, a fierce disciplinarian (except with me, she's a pussy cat) isn't going to take being almost rammed up the arse by Tearaway Ted's pathetic little chihuahua car (so, what's he going to do, bounce off her?) and proceeds to travel the next 100 meters or so at a portly jogging pace.

"Eat dirt, sucker..."

Later, ruminating that my ex-wife* had never had those reactions from drivers but Madame X gets them every so often, the penny dropped. Ah, of course, that was a good ten years ago! They're both good drivers (in fact, Madame X is superb) but the moral degeneration that's occurred during the last 10 years or so is the variable, not the quality of the driving.

"Oh, it wasn't like that in my day..." said the old fogey next to her "...it wasn't like that in my day."

This is Andrew Goulding, reporting to you LIVE from Cyberspace.

*my ex-wife, the parasitic wombat from Hell

The Beatles' She's Leaving Home: The Update

I make no secret that I'm a Beatles fan, not just for some great songs but much more because of their cultural legacy, the bring of so many different sounds and imaginative twists to Rock'n'Roll.

If you weren't there in 1962 (and I wasn't but I almost was), the bland pap that was then Rock'n'Roll received a severe jolt from the moptops, who virtually kickstarted it back into life via their effervescent cardio-sonic therapy.

Once The Beatles started to write through their new "understanding" found via drugs, new songs and sounds emerged, the most famous being their Sgt. Pepper's album.

One of the lesser-talked-of songs on the album is Paul McCartney's She's Leaving Home...and here is the true story of "She", one Melanie Coe, who, at 58, is leaving home, once more.

This article, She's Leaving Home, from the UK's Daily Mail about a Sixties survivor who's still going strong, is a great story for Beatle fans containing trivia like you'd never believe. I love it!

Andrew Goulding

There's a fair bit of often funny, Beatles' satire over at The Spoof, such as today's Beatle Boys Reform For Peace.

Spread The Love 4

Every few days for the last few weeks, I've been popping over to cartoonist Robbay's blog, A Side Of Cartoons Please, where assorted drawn animals frequently have their say on human life.

They're cartoons are simple and often interesting...but today's effort was truly exceptional. I invite you to pop over and check it out. Well done, Sir.

Andrew Goulding

An Essay On Possibilities

Walking with my son, Jamie, this rain-drenched morning on the way to school, we spied the top of a carrot lying in the middle of the road. He said, rather sensibly:

"Look, Dad, the top of a carrot. Somebody must have dropped it there."

"Not necessarily..."

I said...

"...It could be:

• the thruster section from an Inter Continental Ballistic Carrot...or

• an Amazing Hulk Carrot Top that will throw the oncoming cars in every direction...or

• an abseiling cliff-face for commando ants...or..."

"Somebody could have just dropped it there, Dad..."

said Jamie.

"Er...yes..."

I replied

"...but in Life, one should always be open to...possibilities."

"Yes Dad."

said Jamie, as the rain piddled a little more onto our heads.

Benjamin Zander,
conductor of The Boston Philharmonic

Andrew Goulding