As a young man during the 1980s, I was hardly a "player". I was mostly monogamous and while quite aware of pretty young things, seldom went further than giving them a casual nod of recognition. even though I was an outrageously enthusiastic and somewhat adept dancer at parties.
Later, during the Noughties, I was informed that a number of very attractive girls had then had serious crushes on me but I had been so involved in my work that I had seldom noticed and when I had, certainly did nothing about them!
However, during the 90s, (I was then in my early 30s but looked 10 years younger) something interesting happened. The crushes that women got on me occurred less (that was devastating enough!) but had been replaced by something else - the same type of women who had once wanted me, now hated me. Apparently, I had somehow become"dangerous" and "a mind-fucker" - even though I, still, seldom said a word to them. Yes, it was a curious time!
My guess is that I appeared to be a womanizer, the type of guy that they had previously burned themselves with and was to be avoided - at all costs! Even more, they had to protect their friends from me, so everyone had to be told how awful I was! Thankfully, my children arrived and though quickly both separated and a part-time dad, I had little time to get involved in further dramas with the ladeez.
So, it was with some curiosity that I read this article in today's Sydney Morning Herald, Be Nice And Tell Her She's Dreaming, which looks at crushes from the girl point of view. The title pretty much sums up what the authoress believes should be done by a modern gentleman to put a nice girl out of her misery and while it wasn't really my cup of distilled llama's snot, the first comment by "au contraire" certainly got my interest:
"Have you ever been honest with a woman and told her you have no feelings for her?
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or spurned. I've been abused with language I would never use (and I'm a tradesman); I've had my tyres slashed, paint thrown over the car and a knife run through my screen door. And all by women with whom I'd not had a consummated relationship.
My tactic now is simply to make myself undesirable so that it's the woman's decision to call it off. Blokes learn from an early age to take rejection. Women's whole being is based on their desirability, so telling them you don't want to be with them is an affront to their core. This is one of the few instances where honesty is not the best policy."
Well, I should consider myself lucky. I only ever received character assassinations - though perhaps that may be more a product of the era rather than the quality of babe and though I may be hoping for too much, maybe there are still some attractive, fun-lovin' shielas out there, like the irrepressible Nikki Osborne (captured from a few years back).
Nikki Osborne: Aussie uber-babe
If Nikki's interested, I'm still up for a dance and it would be pretty safe because being such a nice girl, she would never slash someone's tyres - or - uh-oh, would she?
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